My Late Grandfather

 It's been about 11 months since the passing of my late grandfather, Lim Teng Hoon @ Lim Peng Hoon.

History.

Gramps always tells his story of how he came to Malaysia. My great-grandfather came to Malaysia first during the occupation of China by the Imperial Japanese Army. Later, my great-grandmother sends my grandpa over to Malaysia before heading over herself. He would travel down south thru Cambodia and Thailand before making his way to Muar, Johor.

Here,  he worked hard and made a name for himself as one of the best photographers in Muar. Most people from both his and my mother's generations would know of him very well. He would always photograph schools, weddings, and events. He would even enter the Salon competition, traveling overseas just for the event. Apparently, once he even got a camera sign from Queen Elizabeth herself. Sadly it was stolen when his shop was broken into.

Many people see him as a healthy old man who manages to live to 100 years old on the Chinese calendar. The only sad thing is we could not celebrate it with a big feast as he lay in the hospital bed.

Many things to say about him, the good, the bad, and the funny things.

I used to always love visiting him. Muar is just rich in culture and food. His house was very big, it was cool, like a time capsule from the previous era so I was sad he sold it off when he decided to move to KL permanently to stay with his children. Despite the language barrier, I guess big hugs and the long story was his one way to show his affection.

My only regret was that I could not speak either Mandarin or Hainanese and he would always tell people that I can't speak it. I was annoyed and humiliated at first but in the end, I just learn to accept it and just enjoy those weird awkward moments. Believe me, I tried to learn Mandarin and failed miserably after half a year.

Gramps was also a strict and stern person when it comes to certain stuff. A typical stubborn old Chinese man who always thinks his methods are correct. I remember as a child, he came over to help renovate my home. When he was stuck trying to figure out what to do, I gave a suggestion and both he and my dad told me to go away as I was too young and do not know anything. Funny enough, at the end they did what I suggested.

He was also a gullible Mongolian doctor. Meaning, he always self-medicates and sometimes eats really weird stuff until he gets a good scolding from his own children. To improve his gut, he believed that he should drink loads of Yakult and Vitagen, the original flavour. Once he ran out and I suggested he drank the apple flavour. He said those are only for children. Haha. Many times he would not eat food, meds or drinks if the packaging changed which made us keep all of the old packaging so that it would be easier to manage his expectations.

I could continue about the headache he gives me like how he favour certain people, how despite being a Christian he still follows traditions which are bad like my name is not in the family tree or tombstone, he would always flood the house whenever he cleans the fishtank despite having a shaking hand, he would still how because he is older means he is right or he loves to complain about things which do not fit his ways even though he is staying with me. However, all in all, I still love him despite his shortcoming.

He would always say that he was content with life, achieving many things, making a name for himself in Muar as a photographer, witnessing most of his grandchildren's university graduations, that he get to see his great-grandchildren too, living up till 100. That he was always ready to go back to the Lord and meet Grandma again.

Even when he got into his 90's, he would still refuse to use a walking stick, he would refuse to use the stairlifts because he don't want to be thought of as old, nor would he take a break and continue to do gardening which could really injure him. I guess, his stubbornness is a good thing too because he would never give up no matter what until he feels fulfilled.

One thing I will remember him for is his story of seeking the Kingdom of God first. When he became a Christian, he gave up Sunday, a good day for a photographer to do business. So that he could go to church and honour God. He always felt that by putting God first, God blessed him with the ability to send all his children to study overseas and also blessed him to live this long.

May God bless his soul as he finally rests peacefully in the arms of the Lord.

Banyak Susah Untuk Cinta

When I was young, compared to my other friends, I was more of a romantic person. Always dreaming for the day I could have a girlfriend. Like I was always desperate for love. Always wanting to find and understand, to feel what love is. Not a family love, not a friend love, but a romantic love. Well, things happen and school life comes and goes. 

2010, college was when I wanted to explore and be rebellious. There weren't many Christian girls hence I just tried my 'luck' but again, no dice. There was one potential girl but I made a mistake and that too never happened. 

When I started to work in 2016, life became quieter. No more peers, no meeting new people, and this continued on till 2019 when I thought I had met a nice girl but that too was fruitless.

Over the course of the MCO due to Covid 19, I tried going online dating to find a potential partner. However, over the course of 1 1/2 years, I gave up. People online did not seem genuine. Now here I am pondering why am I still single.

It came to me that God most likely protected me. Now. I'm not saying all the girls I meet are bad. It's just that the majority were non-Christians which definitely goes against God's law to be equally yoke. Furthermore, some left the faith, some were never faithful and some are only Christian by name.

With that being said, as I grew older, I realized that loving someone is not just about lovey-dovey and romance. It is more than that. A Christian relationship is a covenant between man and God. It is a serious matter. It is with a great purpose and plan made by God. Having a partner of an equal yoke will allow the family, the love, and the future prospect of the family to have a firm foundation in Christ.

1 Corinthians 13

New King James Version

The Greatest Gift

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 

2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 

5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 

6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 

9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 

10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 

12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

We all know this great verse. It's always been quoted by both believers and non-believers alike that this is the ultimate form of love especially for couples.

Looking at verses 4 - 8, we can see it in another way by replacing the word love with your own name. Am I, Jeffrey, patient? Am I kind?

The question to ask myself as a Christian is, am I filled with the Holy Spirit? Am I emulating God's love? I know I cannot be perfect, but am I even trying? That is the biggest question. I know my flaws and I acknowledge them. Every day, every week, every month, every year, I struggle and try my hardest to always be right in the eyes of the Lord cause I love him, and I want to be his faithful servant.

At the end of the day, I do want to have a partner in this lifetime. I do want to start a family. I want somebody to love and to be loved by somebody. However, I also understand I'm not a great person. Heck, I would give girls reasons not to date me.

I'm not rich, I'm not handsome or macho, I'm not smart, I'm not an entrepreneur or a CEO, I don't have a property nor do I drive fast cars and I grew up in a broken family.

The only thing  I can promise is, faithfulness in God, faithfulness in a partner, family is my top priority, and that I'm genuine when it comes to caring for people I care about.

I'm already 31 years old, so let's see where God leads me, who He puts in my life, and who I will meet. One thing is for sure, as much I would like a romantic life, I'm looking but I'm not desperate, nor am I rushing.

Protecting Students

Working with an NGO and from my personal experience, I really see how some people are so unequipped and unaware on prevention, cyber wellness and cyber bullying specially in schools.

Someone joined my sister's online class every day, using her name but never turn on their camera. The fella took a screenshot of her and then used it to make an Instagram account to impersonate her. It caused her an emotional ride for a few weeks and she didn't felt safe.

So this was what happen:
1) Some teachers took personal actions to check who is coming into the class and removing unwanted people.

2) One teacher said it was alright to let such a person attend the class and that my sis is just sensitive.

3) Calling up the headmistress, she said it was just a 'prank' and kept insisting to both my mum and I that its nothing to be worried about that kids are just playing a fool. I'm sure she will say differently if it was her own child.

I found out that for the whole duration of the study from home, they have been suing the same password, same link and some rooms doesn't even need approval. I cannot understand how hard it is to manage. Just changing the online class password and link would have been a step to solving the issue but no, they wanted to discuss it a few weeks later on what action to take.

So in total, it took about a month plus to resolve the issue which I guess is how most schools deal with any form of bullying. SLOW. If a student were to post something to defame the school it would have been settled the next day.

Not bashing the teachers, the school or the administrations but seriously, our sense of urgency and priorities are really lacking in our education. We care more about prestigious, the number of excellent students we can churn out and the name of the students.